I hate to admit it, but I sometimes scroll through my Facebook feed and casually read the wall of garbage. I usually regret it, but sometimes there’s a notice about an event I might have not found otherwise, or an interesting post from one of the interest groups I subscribe to, so it’s not always bad. One day however, this meme popped up:

Least attractive hobbies for men according to women

I’m pretty sure this is one of those things that are supposed to drive “engagement” on Facebook, and that Liz person probably doesn’t exist. But it made me think because it completed the circuit for an idea that’s been bouncing around for some time.

I was sitting cross-legged on the floor of a medium-sized classroom. The people, all of them women except for myself and a few baby boys, were forming a circle. It was the last activity for this session of the play group and in the middle, the kids (including my daughter) were playing in a big pile of rapeseeds and we the adults were talking. The subject somehow turned onto how everybody liked to spend time with their significant other, and I mentioned that me and my wife occasionally enjoy playing old computer games together. I got a bunch of surprised looks, with an undertone of maybe not disgust, but definite ick. To these women, it was shocking that a woman could spend any time on something as stupidly useless as a computer game. Men, sure, they often have their dumb hobbies and like to waste time. I mean, we thought you were a serious guy, being a father and all, but you’re like the rest of them, guess that was to be expected. But who the hell is this wife of yours? She in high school or something?

Sigh. It’s an attitude that I know all too well from experience, starting with my own parents. Games are baby toys, you’re supposed to grow out of it. I learned to be ashamed of the fact that I enjoyed them, and rarely mentioned it. Also, stuff was happening in my life, I moved to the big city to get my degree and I didn’t have much free time, so it was looking like things would just fall in line on their own, and my juvenile period would soon be over.

However, this pastime would never completely go away. Occasionally, I would still play some games which were making news. Then, some time after I had finished my degree and was already working a regular job, I discovered the rabbit hole of retrogaming: Youtube channels, blogs, Discord channels, even Facebook groups devoted to the subject of how the games of my childhood were designed, implemented and what made them tick behind the scenes, all information that I would have loved back in the day, but that was just not available. I’ve developed a keen interest in the subject, and it is the thing that keeps me from burning out at work by maintaining an enthusiasm for programming. Then I met my wife who fortunately also enjoys playing a game with me or by herself, and will even watch a document video about some historical stuff from time to time. I guess gaming is here to stay with us.

Over time, as I grew older and the need to impress people or really caring what somebody else except for my family thinks of me vanished, I learned to stop being ashamed of liking games and embrace it as part of my life, especially as it’s just a small piece of it and I do a lot of “serious” stuff. But I still don’t mention gaming much either, the above-described situation being a rare exception.

I kind of accepted that games were and would keep being perceived as something that adult people who have a life are not supposed to enjoy. It’s not on the same level as binge drinking or gambling your savings away, but still something a bit weird, comparable to watching cartoons or reading comic books. It’s not a big deal, but something about it always struck me as odd, one of these double-standard notions that are widely held and never questioned in our society. For a long time, I was unable to put a finger on it, but I think this quote from Sid Meier’s book outlines it pretty well:

“(…) I never made the conscious decision to embrace gaming, because as far as I can tell gaming already is the default, straightforward path. Not only does it span a billion hours of history – ancient Sumerians were throwing dice as early as 5000 BC, and cruder games almost certainly go back as far as the Neanderthals – but it’s a deeply embedded human instinct. A newborn baby will play tug-of-war with its own foot before it even understands who the foot belongs to. Everyone starts out life as a gamer, and I was no different. First, I lauged at peekaboo, then I lined up toy soldiers, then I played board games, then I made fun computer programs. To me, it seems like the most logical progression in the world. The question “When did you start?” would be better frames as “Why didn’t you stop?” – but even then, I won’t have a good answer. I find it mind-boggling that a life spent dedicated to gaming is the exception, rather than the rule.”

After I saw that Facebook meme, it kept bugging me. Why was gaming villified? Why was it considered the worst of the bunch? Is it really the worst thing you can choose to do with your free time? Are there any other games that you can enjoy without the stigma? I think I can think of a few:

  • playing or watching sports is fine; the former because you do it to keep in shape, and the latter because idk, reasons?
  • poker and other casino games are kinda fine because it’s edgy, plus you can combine it with drinking and other “adult” activities.
  • chess is considered the domain of smart people, so it’s actually one of the few games whose public perception is universally positive

So, it’s fine if your game provides an excuse like doing it for your health, is accepted on the basis of cultural norms and customs, or if there’s money involved and it’s kind of nefarious. Last not least, some games will make people think you’re smart because they have accumulated enough historical patina and have been analyzed to death over millenia. Maybe the same will be the case with computer games in a few hundred years?

Here’s where the title of this post comes from; I actually think chess is a pretty lousy game. People like to drool over how many combinations of moves there are, and how many possible outcomes are possible, but the same is true of throwing a bunch of rocks in the air and seeing how they land. Nothing interesting ever happens, people just keep taking turns moving their pieces according to an extremely limiting set of rules. It’s a poor man’s depiction of warfare, the best we could realistically do with a few spare pieces of wood a few thousand games ago. However, guess what? We can do so much better now.

Super Mario Bros on NES

I could have come up with an example of a modern computer strategy game, but compared to chess, even a simple game like 1985’s Super Mario Bros is infinitely more engaging and exhilarating. Think about it. Even with that primitive technology it has a basic story that puts the act of playing in a context, so that you understand what you’re trying to do and why. Then it’s essentially applied physics, an extravaganza of velocity, acceleration, trajectory and gravity. You don’t realize it, but you are expected to run the equivalent of a complicated set of kinematic calculations in your head, and even more challenging, you need to pull it off within split seconds, in an ever changing, dynamic environment, where no playthrough is the same. You balance on the brink of life and death, throwing your vulnerable little plumber body over immense rifts, in the hope of catching the safety of ground on the other side. Now how is this even a contest, and why is one of these considered a stupid toy, and the other the pinnacle of intellectual achievement? As far as I’m concerned, it should be the other way around!

Skyrim gameplay

For people who are not convinced, and consider Mario’s pure-action approach too vulgar, I present my recently rekindled passion: Skyrim, the thinking man’s game. 😁 I spend hours (after everybody has gone to sleep) training my skills, picking weapon and armor stats and enchantments so that they complement each other to maximize my damage output and armor rating, and when I actually go into battle, I can always pause the action and consider my options. Is the environment open, or confined? How many enemies and of what type are there, where are they coming from? Am I alone, and if not, where is my companion? Do I sneak and attack from a distance, or close in and blast everything with magic? Should I put a trap in the doorway before going in to cover a potential tactical retreat? So much thought and planning, and then you get to see it play out before you, in a gorgeously designed and beautifully crafted environment. Seriously, some of the vistas are still stunning even though the game is more than 10 years old now.

During my recent play session, a bit of emergent gameplay ocurred that was kind of striking when you actually think about it. I came back into town after finishing a bunch of quests because I had gathered a significant amount of loot and it was getting heavy, so the plan was to get a good night’s sleep as it was already a bit late, then sell most of it off, put the things that could be useful later into the chest in my town home, pay for some training with the blacksmith (I had picked up smithing as a hobby in the game, just dabbling), then off into the wilderness again.

However, upon entering the town I was ambushed by a bunch of bandits seeking revenge for me killing their leader earlier. They didn’t look like much of a threat, the town guard was running towards the scene, and it appeared some of the townspeople were also joining the fray to kick the bandits out of town. So I sidestepped the whole thing and went into my house and straight to bed like I had planned – my in-game daughter must have been sleeping already because I could not see her on the way to the upstairs bedroom.

Imagine my shock and anger when I woke up the next day to find that the bandits had dispatched the town guard along with the few townspeople who had the courage to stand against them. I ran over and made quick work of the bandits, but it was too late, and the blacksmith apprentice lady lay dead. I used to sell her a lot of the stuff I brought back from my travels and planned to do likewise this time, but it would not come to pass that day, or any other day going forward. I stand there, my sword bloodied from the fight, when I saw a courier approaching. He had a letter and some inheritance money for me. Turns out the blacksmith lady left me a 100 gold pieces in her will. I let her down! Guilt lay heavy upon my conscience as I inspected the bodies of the bad guys for valuable stuff.

Blacksmith lady from Skyrim
RIP Adrianne, you will be missed

Now, when was the last time something remotely as interesting happened in a game of chess? Must have been when What’s-his-name used the Shitstain Defense against Who’s-her-face. Oh boy, do I remember that one!

Actually, it gets even better because I can now share these experiences with my daughter. I was concerned at first because this can be a violent game, and she’s only two years old but there’s just so much to casually see in Skyrim and she enjoys looking at the chickens in the towns, the elephants on the plains, or the occasional mushroom growing on a fallen tree stump in a cave. She is into ghosts and skeletons these days, so we occasionally go fighting into the caves and lairs that I know only have undead in them, and we “peacefully” put them “to sleep” with frost spells. 😊

Later, my daughter will tell all of these convoluted stories about our adventures, mixing in a bit of what happened in the game with what happened IRL during the day: “Me was walking in the Skyrim AND! Comes this skeleton AND! I slipped and sprinkled seeds all over the Skyrim AND! Daddy came and said time to brush teeth BUT BUT Skyrim fell down and got banged up!”. You can tell she’s experiencing this very strongly, and I can certainly relate.

Seriously, the amount of joy and excitement I am getting out of this one game alone is just out there. And I haven’t even touched on how excited my daugher gets watching my wife playing Mario, cheering her on and giving shouts of joy and cackles whenever she hears the stage ending jingle or sees a ghost. This is such a quality time, all of us bonding over doing interesting things together, an experience I sadly have missed from my own parents, who were always too busy doing “serious” things, which most often involved watching news programs on TV.

I must admit I am being a little facetious and the post title was clickbait. I don’t really hate chess. I don’t care much for it, but I don’t judge who finds what entertaining, or chooses to obsess over. As far as I am concerned, whatever fascinates you and brings you joy is a good thing to pursue (if it doesn’t hurt anybody). I was just tired of a pastime I think of as the ultimate storytelling medium (combining writing, art, music and technology) getting a bum rep while I think it is capable of delivering or at least enabling some of the best experiences that this life has to offer.

Now, there are many more burning problems (some literally, see: global warming) in today’s world and this one isn’t even a blip on the radar, so I’m not expecting for the current optics to change anytime soon, but that’s okay. Gaming was always a bit about escapism, and in the face of those big problems which threaten our very existence, but which I can’t do anything about, even the act of writing about an insignificant problem gave me some time to take my mind off serious things and get a bit of respite from all that’s horrible and scary about living in this lousy timeline. And I guess that’s kind of the point of gaming all along.